ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
