he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
