I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
