do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
