would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
