I don't remember. Are we still dating?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
