I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
