i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
