she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
