Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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