Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
