The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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