wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
