I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
