So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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