entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
