I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
