I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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