the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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