i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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