I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
