I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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