I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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