I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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