dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
