My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
