thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
