I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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