there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
