why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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