She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
