He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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