You made me cry and you don't even care
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
