she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
