Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
