oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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