I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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