D3 body, D1 cock
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Randomize
