Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
