I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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