and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
