His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
