Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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