I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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