end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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