He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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