Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
