I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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