you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
