So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
