You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
